Friday, 15 June 2012

Tip #23: I can't feel sorry for myself for too long.

This is my life now. Plenty of people have had this happen to them, and it sucks, and it hurts, but the only choice I have is to keep moving through the state, and keep alive.

I haven't seen that Thing since... well, the first time I saw It. I feel like, though... it's right at my heels. Keeping me moving. I've always had a a thing with my instincts. Maybe it's finally proving useful somehow. I don't know. I'm tired and hungry and cold and scared and I want to go home, assuming the few remaining crazies haven't torched my house down. But I can't. Obviously.

It still hasn't sunk in that this is my life now. That everyone that I knew is... gone. Or worse. I know I'm probably never going to get answers, but the number one thing on my mind has been... why? why didn't I notice what was going on before everyone else did? Why did I notice so late? Why wasn't I caught up in the same thing that everyone else was?

That's more than one question, but I don't care.

I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to reach out to anyone. as far as I'm concerned, everyone else involved in this mess is fucked up, crazy, or violent, or a mix of all three. I can get by with the manuscript and the stuff I grabbed before I left.

And if any of you are reading this?

I don't need any of you.

In fact, stay the hell away from me.

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